Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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