Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
