erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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