So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you traded sex for a burrito?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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