You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
