this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
