Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
