You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
