ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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