Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
