you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
