no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
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