just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
