You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
