They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
