I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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