Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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