it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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