My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They took my balls.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
