Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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