you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
