I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
