Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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