so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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