Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I bet he comes in French.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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