Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
