Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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