fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
