At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
