she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
