dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
