WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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