Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she smelled like a LAN party
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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