im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
