Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
