i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have aggressive nipples.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
