If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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