I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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