HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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