Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
