he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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