there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED