i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.