Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
