i just wanna soil my oats bro
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This house was built for laser tag.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it