I want to stick my p in your. b.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
