May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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