you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
