Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
