try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize