5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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