big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
