How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
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Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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