We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
