it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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