i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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