I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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