did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
