3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
