dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
His nipple licking is glorious
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