just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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