Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
