My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
