also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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