did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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