My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
