if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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