just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
