are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
