According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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