By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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