Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
