Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
