ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He felt like a one man threesome
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
