Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
